I was supposed to be starting my period the next day but I just kept thinking and wondering if I could possibly be pregnant. I knew it took most people a few months before conceiving their first time but I just couldn't stop thinking about it! There were a few symptoms I had had that week that were a little different than my usual PMS symptoms-
+I cried when a Buffalo Wild Wings commercial came on at 11pm because I wanted it so bad
+I was EXTREMELY bloated all week long
+I was constipated which I don't experience ever (TMI)
That week we kind of joked that I was pregnant but honestly just thought I was PMSing.
On November 1st I was over at my friends house talking about all this and I started getting my usual cramps that afternoon. I knew I would for sure be starting my period the next day so I was a little sad. She gave me one of her pregnancy tests and a few ovulation tests for when me and Paxton really started "trying".
When I got home that night I just couldn't stop wondering and thinking and didn't want to wait to see if I would just end up starting my period so I went into the bathroom and took a pregnancy test. I was hoping it would say I was pregnant but assumed it would be negative. When I looked at it I initially thought it was negative and got pretty sad...but then I looked closer and I thought I could see a tiny tiny tiny TINY hint of a line. I kept staring at it because I thought I was crazy but there was definitely SOMETHING there- barely there- but it was there! I started crying and walked out to tell Paxton I thought I was pregnant. He had a hard time seeing the line so he really didn't think I was pregnant. So I threw the test away and felt kind of stupid for getting excited over nothing.
After 5 minutes I went and got it out and looked again. The line was still SOOOO faint but I remember seeing a girl post on Instagram one time of her test and how it was barely barely there. So I took a picture and sent it to my friend so she could tell me if I was crazy or not. I told her she might have to zoom in a little to see it but within seconds she texted back "Congratulations!" and got so excited for me! Paxton still didn't believe it. I don't blame him because look at the test-
I couldn't sleep that night I just KNEW I really was pregnant but was nervous to be completely excited just in case it ended up being a fluke. I couldn't wait to take another test the next morning so Paxton could believe it and I could let myself feel the excitement I was trying to contain!!! I woke up at 4am and took another test and sure enough there was a line!! It was still pretty faint but it was DEFINITELY there! We really WERE pregnant and now Paxton finally believed me and was just as excited! WE WERE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!! There were so many emotions I felt in that moment- so much gratitude, disbelief, excitement, fear!
I'm the worst at keeping secrets from my mom... so it took everything in me not to call her right after we found out! I tell her everything and this was the biggest secret I had to keep and I wanted our families to be in on all the excitement! So we decided to take a last minute trip to Idaho the next day to tell our families! We had little gifts for them to open up with some baby clothes inside. Everyone was SO surprised and SO excited!! Everything just felt so perfect. It will be the first grand baby for my parents and the 4th grand baby for Paxtons parents.
It surprised me how calm, normal, and "right" everything felt for Paxton and I when this was such a huge change that was going to happen in 9 months! But honestly I knew that everything happened exactly how it was supposed to! We sure can't wait for July!
xoxo
Bailey
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