Finding Out Baby M's Gender

From the moment we found out we were pregnant, Paxton was a 10000% sure our baby was a boy. He was absolutely certain and wouldn't even entertain the idea of us having a little girl first! I kept telling him he had to have an open mind so he wouldn't be sad if it ended up being a girl!

At the beginning of November we did the "ring test. If you don't know what that is, be ready to have your minds blown because I swear by it and believe in it 100%. You can look up videos on youtube but basically you take a string or a piece of your hair, string your wedding ring on it, hold it over your wrist or if you're pregnant you can hold it over your belly. Hold very still and it literally will start swinging on its own. It's kind of woo-woo but it's awesome. If It goes back and forth it's a boy, if it goes in a circle it's a girl. Do it to your spouse and it will literally do the exact same thing.  It's crazy. So we did it and for both me and Paxton it said BOY.  Paxton was very very excited about that.

So from that moment on I was sure we were having a boy! I even went ahead and bought a few boy outfits! But then the month of January came and I was CERTAIN it was a girl. I kept having dreams about this dark haired little baby girl and I really felt like that was our baby! After I shared that over on Instagram, everyone said that there was a saying that if you have dreams about your baby being a certain gender- that means it will be the opposite gender.  So the ring test said it was a boy and then my dreams were actually saying it was a boy. Okay! I was convinced! 

It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard waiting over 19 weeks to find out the gender FOR SURE. It's all I could think about once we finally scheduled it. I really really really wanted to go and find out earlier but I know a lot of people that had gone in, found out it was a girl and then it ended up being a boy when they went to their 20 week ultrasound. And I just didn't want to chance it being incorrect so we decided to wait it out! But dang it was hard!

We went in for our Ultrasound February 19 when I was a little over 19 weeks along. When we got there I told the tech I wanted to find out the gender RIGHT THEN but baby's legs were crossed! After a few minutes she said she had a guess and that it was a GIRL. I didn't register it because I was SO shocked and didn't want to believe one way or another until the baby's legs were uncrossed. Meanwhile, Paxton sat in the corner trying to process that his baby boy was actually a girl! He said he was a little sad but was still excited! After about 15 min I asked her- "so how positive are you that it's a girl??" And she said "oh, don't take my word for it". So that gave Paxton some hope. After about 40 minutes baby finally uncrossed it's legs and we saw for certain that IT WAS A BOY!! Paxton got up out of his chair and yelled he was so excited. I felt 100% at peace because we really had known all along!!! We were both so freaking excited.

Later that evening we both facetimed our families to tell them the news, show them the cute ultrasound pictures we got of the lil babe, and to tell them about the ultrasound! Baby boy would NOT stop moving the entire ultrasound and kept folding himself into a little ball like this with is feet in front of his face! I could have stayed there all night watching him. And was so happy we finally could really call him a HIM with confidence! We also found out that I have an anterior placenta which has made it so Paxton still hasn't felt baby kick yet. Although I feel him moving and shaking ALL THE TIME.

We decided that we did not want to do a big gender reveal party! Which kind of surprised me because I always thought I would want to but I just didn't want to wait a second longer not knowing the gender! I also just wanted it to just be mine and Paxton's little secret for a while and to tell our families on our own. We kept it simple and announced it on social media the next day!

We are so excited and can't wait to meet this little guy in July!!  He is healthy and growing perfectly and already a dream come true! 

xoxo

Bailey

Our Dental School Story

       

               

   

I have a million things to catch you all up on but don't know where to begin. So let me start and tell you our Dental School Story-

Paxton first applied to dental school June 2015, he got a good competitive score on the DAT and had an incredible application and we were very hopeful. He did not get 1 interview.  NOT ONE! WE WERE SO CONFUSED. We both had felt very strongly that this was the right career path for him and that we should apply this round. We were devastated. People that Paxton knew that had gotten even lower DAT scores and grades were getting interviews and we didn't. It just didn't make any sense. After a few months of waiting we never got any offers. So that whole next year him & I both worked full time and started saving up to retake the DAT and reapply the next year!

He retook the DAT May of 2016 and got an even BETTER score than before and we applied to (almost) the same 15 schools. After a few months the interview offers just kept on coming!! He was offered 9 interviews all over the US but most importantly he got interviews at both of our TOP 3 DENTAL SCHOOLS we wanted. We were so beyond blessed. It was so crazy to look back and think how the first year we got NONE and the next we had SO many options. Anyways. He ended up attending 5/9 interviews and felt good about all of them. 

I was able to go with I'm to his University of Utah Interview and as I was driving around SLC and exploring all the places around the dental school I had a VERY strong feeling we would be living there. It was weird but it felt like home and very familiar. I had thoughts of "I can't wait to move here" pop into my mind without even realizing it.

Anyways, a few months passed and on the 1st of December he got his 1st acceptance at LECOM in Bradenton Florida! He got waitlisted for the University of Utah, Roseman, and the IDEP program (his top choice). He probably checked his email a million times every single day that whole month of December, but we knew that Florida is where we would be moving because the chances of him getting off of the waitlist for the other schools were very slim.  We had like a million emotions going through us. I spent 3 therapy sessions crying about it. But eventually we both were excited for this new Florida adventure! He got into dental school and that was a dream come true.

One day in January I got home for lunch and Pax walked over and said "I got accepted to the University of Utah" I just looked at him because I couldn't really comprehend what he just said. "They just called me and offered me a spot at the U." I broke down crying and called my mom and she cried and I was so relieved and overjoyed! But we had a lot of big decisions to make. The whole previous month we had been looking at apartments in Florida, payed a huge deposit, and were so focused on preparing to move across the country. Probably the hardest decision of our life was trying to decide between the U and LECOM because there were so many pros and cons to both and were basically an even playing field. That was a rough week of constant going back and forth between choosing the U then choosing LECOM and all over again. We felt good about both and just didn't know what to choose. Eventually it came down to him liking the learning style at the U more and being closer to our families to have that support during these next long 4 years!

Sometimes I wonder why we didn't just hear back from the U at the beginning of December... Like if we were "supposed" to go and be there why didn't it just happen first thing? It  definitely would have saved us A TON of money and anxiety! But we eventually made it to this point so thats all that matters I guess!! 

So we moved to Utah at the end of June! Paxton started dental school the beginning of August and had his White Coat Ceremony! He definitely keeps very very busy with school but he is liking (most) of his classes and is an amazing student! I just have so much love for my hard working husband and am just a very proud wife! He has made really good friends in the program already and I just feel very at peace that this was where we were meant to be at this time and that it was no accident that we didn't hear back from any of the schools the first time we applied. 

xoxo

Bailey

8 Ways To Start Changing Hatred About Our Bodies Into Love

I've been thinking about this post ALL DAY LONG. But let me give you a little background before I get into it:

For the past 3 days I have literally cried multiple times because of my current weight and body shape. I've been 110% devastated and humiliated by my body. I'm discouraged because I have been working out and eating healthier since January and there has been NO difference despite my daily efforts(I know there is some medical stuff I need to factor in but still). It's discouraging. I feel like I am doing all the right things and I can NOT lose weight. So i'm frustrated and depressed about it and having a really hard time with loving myself right now. Just the facts.

Then yesterday a light bulb went off when I was looking through pictures from my freshman year of college. I kept thinking to myself- "Wow.  I can't believe I used to think I was fat back then! I would give anything to look like that again! I had such a cute figure but I remember I was never happy with how I looked. I really truly thought I was so fat!" Do you guys do that!? Look through old pictures and remember thinking how fat you were and now realizing you WERE NOT any of those negative thoughts you had about yourself? UGH.

And then I realized-  I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPY WITH MY BODY EVER. Even  when I was 125 pounds I thought I was fat.  And i bet that even if I was at my "goal" weight and had the body I wanted right now, I probably still wouldn't even be happy with myself. Because ultimately it's not just my body that I need to change- IT'S MY MINDSET. Because I feel like even if I looked how I wished I look and weighed what I wished I weighed I would STILL find more and more things to pick out and try and change about myself and would still be unhappy. So right now I need to try to find happiness, balance, and confidence in my NOW. Not just my "future". And chances are- so do you.

Because if we can't do that, we are going to continue to be unhappy with our bodies for the rest of our freaking lives. And I don't want that and I bet you don't either.  I've spent most of my life being very uncomfortable in my own skin. Even when I shouldn't have been. I've missed out on a lot of happy & loving thoughts to go towards myself because I've spent most of it tearing myself down and being disappointed. Raise your hand if ya feel me?

It's truly terrible how hard we are on ourselves. And how we feel like we can only be happy if we
are a size 0, weigh 120 pounds,  big boobs have a thigh gap and a 6 pack. THAT IS NOT TRUE. It's good to have goals and to want to be our best selves! TOTALLY. Life is all about progression.But it's definitely not okay to despise ourselves when we haven't reached those goals. It's not okay to tell ourselves how fat and unloveable we are. It's not okay to hate ourselves and our bodies. No matter the current shape or size.

So what do we do? How do we change this mindset? How do we change hatred into love?
There probably 1000 answers to these questions but here are some of my own that I think will be a good starting point for me-and maybe it will  be a good place for you to start too!

+I need to realize that the first thought that someone has about me is probably NOT about my weight.
+I need to realize that my body does not define me, my actions and words do.
+I need to not be so judgmental of myself because chances are, people are not being as judgmental to me as I think they are.
+I need to realize I am trying my hardest and give myself credit for the hard work I have been doing to become a healthier me this year even though I haven't gotten the results I've wanted. I'm very quick to criticize myself and very slow to compliment myself.
+I need to be okay and ACCEPT that I need to go up a pant size because it's more important for me to feel comfortable in the clothes I am wearing than try and wear something tight and uncomfortable just because of the number on the tag
+It's okay to buy cute clothes right now, even though i'm not the size I would like be. It's important to still feel pretty. And I can still feel pretty even when I'm not as skinny as I would like to be.
+Feeding myself negative thoughts and words is only going to hurt me and make me more depressed. I need to try and only tell myself things that I would tell my sisters! And those would be positive and uplifting things!
+I need to accept where I am at in my weight loss journey now and know I have done my best.  My best is literally all I can do.

xoxo
Bailey

BATH BEVY

Bath Bevy is a dream come true. You know how much I love my baths, and you know how I feel about subscription boxes! This was a perfect combination and it was like Christmas when I found this package at my door! I was beyond excited to receive this cute Bath Bevy Box! This was February's box and I've already used all the product you see here. I know, I take baths like it's my job.

Sweet Lips Bubble Bar- I have never heard of a bubble bar before!! I was so excited to try it! You hold it under the running water and BAM bubbles galore! I liked the smell but I personally prefer liquid bubbles! It was also pretty crumbly and made a bit of a mess in the tub, but then again maybe I didn't do something right? Haha!

Pucker Up Bath Melt- This was one of my favorite products!! It not only smelled amazing but it made my skin SO soft!! I will definitely be purchasing this again!! You can use it as a in the shower lotion or in the bath! I used mine in the bath and rubbed it on my skin and oh my gosh this is the coolest thing ever!

Solid Lotion Bar- Love love loved this! I had never tried anything like this before or new it existed! It's basically lotion that looks like its in the form of chapstick! I use it everyday! It's almost feels a little greasy at first, but after a few moments it goes away and the smell lasts a long time!

Unicorn Kisses Bath Dust- HECK YES i freaking loved this! The colors were so fun!

Champagne Kisses- It is a sugar scrub, exfoliator, and moisturizer all in one! It is soooo pretty and soft! I would purchase this again but in a different scent!

Kiss Me Bath Bomb- Bath bombs are my all time favorite thing! Call me basic but man they make me so freaking happy! I have soon many of them and use them ALL the time!!

I 10/10 would recommend Bath Bevy to ALL bath and/or self care lovers!!! It exceeded all my expectations and I loved the products!!!!! It was so fun to be introduced to new brands & products! It's totally worth the money if you are someone who likes taking baths & enjoys fun bath products.

xo
Bailey

What Did I Think About My TheraBox!?

I can't help it- I AM OBSESSED WITH SUBSCRIPTION BOXES! 
+They are such a good way to TREAT YO SELF! 
+You have something to look forward to each month!
+It's like buying a gift for yourself but you still get the surprise!
+You get introduced to tons of new products and brands that are out there!
+You are getting tons of products that are worth SO MUCH MORE than the payment of the box itself!

Around Christmas time I decided I was going to use some of my Christmas money for a subscription box! Why get a new shirt when I can get a subscription box right? haha you guys I know it's kind of odd but I just freaking love subscription boxes.  So I started googling subscription boxes and found out there is literally a subscription box for EVERYTHING! I'm not even joking. It was so hard to decide which box to go with! There are so many out there that I want! I'm such a sucker for these things guys haha. 

Anyways, I came across TheraBox and instantly FELL IN LOVE. You know how passionate I am about self care/self love! THAT IS WHAT THIS BOX IS ABOUT! This is their mission statement:
"to inspire happier lives through practical joy boosting activities and thoughtful products! Each box is curated by therapists to increase your happiness using activities and products inspired by research in neuroscience, positive psychology, health, & wellness! We believe self care = self love  ♥ "

UM YES PLEASE!

I was so stoked!

January's box theme was YOUR YEAR! The first thing I saw was a cute pamphlet that explained what each product was, the retail value of the products(this box was $155 worth of products for only $34.95), and some of them had promo codes for discounts if you wanted to purchase the product again! So here is what was inside-

Goal Setting Journal- If you know me, you know I LOVED to journal growing up. I have 53 complete journals since the time I was 8 years old. It has always been a passion of mine so I was very excited for this! It even had off white pages which is the BEST.

Your Tea Energy Tea- I have never really been a tea drinker...not because I don't like it but it just wasn't really on my radar? I HAVE BEEN MISSING OUT!! And let's first take a moment to praise that gorgeous packaging! Love it! I will DEFINITELY be ordering from this brand again! They have so many other amazing teas as well. I linked their website because I'm obsessed with their entire BRAND! I'm probably going to try their Tiny Tea next!

Starboard Alchemy Mocha Mask- I've never been much of a face mask girl! I try soooo hard to like them but I just can't handle anything (besides makeup) being on my face! I gave it a try though and I loved the smell! But I gave it to my sisters to use because the mask life aint for me.

All Is Well Engraved Pen- Absolutely darling! It is seriously SO pretty and makes me feel fabulous. If it was at a store I don't think I would have purchased it but I'm definitely happy I have it.

Manna Kadar Cosmetics Precision Point Eyeliner- I've never heard of this brand before but I'm always excited to try a new eyeliner! I really liked it!! I don't think I would go out of my way to purchase it again, but I will enjoy it while I have it!

Becalm Signature Body Scrub - LOVED it. I just searched their website to link them and apparently they have tons of BOXES TOO! I'm in trouble! This was the best body scrub I have ever tried! It was very gentle and smelled amazing! I would totally purchase this again!

Coffee Mask- Like I said before, not a mask person, and definitely not a sheet mask person. I'M THE WORST I KNOW! So I also gifted this too my sisters even though I kept hoping I would change my mind and give it a go. Ugh. 

1 Months Subscrition To Lunar Yoga- I haven't started this yet because I want to be able to commit to a whole month of yoga and meditation BUT I'M SO EXCITED to get to try this!!!

Overall- totally worth it!! I didn't get Februarys box but I'm planning on getting March's!! I would recommend this to everyone! Seriously! It was the perfect little pick me up!

GOD BLESS SUBSCRIPTION BOX CREATORS

xo

Bailey

Want to join in on the fun!? Here is my referral link!
https://therabox.cratejoy.com/refer/Baile-JTGHKAIZ

I'm not screwed. I'm not messed up. I don't have issues.

I'm doing better. Beginning to feel more like myself. Consistently not having to take my "emergency pills" and have more confidence in my ability to better manage my anxiety. And I even don't have to see my therapist for 2 whole months because I'm doing so much better.
When I look back on these past 6 months I feel grateful for the progress I've made and  how much easier living normal life has started to feel. I consider myself lucky in a way. Becaue back in January, when I was rock bottom, I could not even begin to picture the strides and milestones I have accomplished in this journey.
But that's the hardest part of this whole thing. It's a journey. It doesn't have a destination. It doesn't have the happy sweet ending that I had been begging and praying for. The one where my anxiety would go away, my panic attacks would end, and I would go back to how my life was before all of this. That was my goal. I had felt "normal" at one point in my life so I wanted to attain that again. It took me months before I even TRIED to accept the fact that anxiety was going to be a part of my life. I thought I had been accepting it, but deep down inside my goal was to justget RID of anxiety rather than learn how to live WITH it.
I had the greatest therapist ever. Hands down I could not have gone through this without his expertise, patience, and listening ears. I will forever be grateful for the things he taught me through this process.  2 sessions ago we had a "break theough" moment. I was getting frustrated with my anxiety. Frustrated that it wouldn't go away. Frustrated that besides medication and counseling there isn't much help for mental health. Frustrated that I wasn't making more progress. Frustrated that I was still having anxiety here and there. Frustrated about a million things. My therapist helped me to realize the reality of my situation, genetics, and mental illness. That the key to really progressing with anxiety is to ACCEPT it. It took me 4 months before I finally truly did this. It took me 4 months before I faced the heartbreaking truth I didn't want to be true. That I have anxiety and that's just a fact. No matter how much I try to not have it, I do. The. More I tried to wish it away, the more I couldn't. It wasn't until I fully accepted my anxiety that I finally felt powerful. It doesn't mean that I am "okay" wit having anxiety, heck no I am not! It doesn't mean I "like" my anxiety, not even a little. But I ACCEPT that I have it and that I am going to have to live my life differently than others.
I'm going to have to constantly take care of my mental health. I'm going to need to understand and know my limits. I'm going to have to push myself differently than others. I'm going to have to meditate and make self care a continual thing.  I'm going to be uncomfortable in many situations and I'm going to have to understand that and accept that about myself.
It's kind of an interesting brain transition. A weird thought process. And you better believe I was a heartbroken sobbing mess when I finally accepted that anxiety was apart of my life. But it really made all the difference. I've had to entirely change my relationship with anxiety. All of this doesn't mean I'm going to have extreme panic attacks and extreme anxiety like I experienced these past few months. It doesn't mean that I'm screwed for life. It doesn't mean that I can't still enjoy my life.  It doesn't mean that I'm messed up and have serious issues and have to struggle for the rest of my life. Cause believe me, I used to think all those things.
It all means that I have a better relationship & understand of my anxiety. That I know myself better. That I have tools and things I've had to practice the heck out of to be able to function better and live a more normal life. That I am not as terrified of my anxiety as I used to be. That I no longer am terrified of living life with this anxiety disorder I have.



Xoxo
Bailey

The Beginning of My Healing Journey

December 2 I was thrown into this whole knew realm of anxiety. It transformed to Panic Disorder and then to Agoraphobia. It was this whole new thing for me that I have never experienced and I could have never imagined that I would go through it. I'll spare you all the details and get to the good part. The part where I finally have hope back in my life. The part where I am yelling it out to the Universe that I CAN DO THIS. 

This is transformation time for me because I've chosen to make it that. I've chosen to FIGHT this and try everything that I possibly can to manage my anxiety and take back MY life. I was brought so low, SO SO low, lower than I could have ever imagined, so that I could CHANGE and TRANSFORM. Sounds super dramatic and/or cliche, right? But it's true. And it's taken me a while to get to this point but I'm on this journey right now to help myself heal (I just love that word so much).

Here is my healing journey so far-

A week and a half a go I chose certain things that I was going to work on and and ways I was going to change. I didn't want to just let anxiety run my world and I didn't want to just sit around and wish it away. I wanted to actively be doing things to help myself! And I was willing to do and try anything. Seriously. I was so so stuck you guys. Anyways these things have brought me hope over the past few weeks and are a big part of my healing journey.

+Research- I wanted to learn more about anxiety, panic disorders, and agoraphobia. I went to Dr Google and searched everything and anything about them. I feel like it helped me to understand why my body was doing this in order to help me to change it. I read tons of great articles that gave tons of great insights and advice on how to overcome it and things to try. Anxiety Coach and Calm Clinic were great and useful websites!

+Yoga- I've been wanting to get more into yoga these past few weeks so I figured now would be the perfect time. I started reading about Yoga and how it can help anxiety! The Yoga Journal has some awesome articles about yoga and anxiety together and separate. (Here's an awesome article that really was helpful to me!) I started doing yoga every day and using that time to just focus on me and healing. It was incredible how much peace and hope I found by doing this. I started learning more about yoga, chakras, mantras, intentions, balance and became hooked. I started by pinning a bunch of yoga tutorials, pictures, and flows from Pinterest so that I could learn and do more. Here is my Yoga board that helped me to get started.

+Meditation-I read and watched a lot of videos about meditation and all the benefits of it. I have used the app Headspace  many times and after doing the free trial 2x I saw how meditation really was beneficial for me. I loved how I could just take an absolute BREAK for 10 minutes and just be at peace and recenter myself and I wanted more so I purchased it and I'm SO happy that I did! It has taught me a lot about not reacting to my thoughts and how to separate my emotions from my thoughts.

+Counseling- I have gone to counseling 3 times in the past week and a half and I'm so grateful that I started it. It feels so good to be able to get feedback from someone who has tools that they can teach me to help myself cope and manage my anxiety. I have loved having an outlet where I can be 100% uncensored and honest that they truly care and do understand. It's not only helping me with my anxiety but other aspects of my life as well. The biggest thing I have learned so far is how I need to ACCEPT my anxiety. I think for my whole life I tried to FIGHT it, and accepting it just seems crazy to me because I DONT WANT IT. I DONT WANT IT TO BE APART OF ME. But my counselor has helped me to realize that I have it, and there's nothing I can do about that fact, so I need to accept it. It is changing my life. 

+ Self Care- I found a Pin about Self Care that lead me to this Blog. I LOVE this post and this blog!!  It sparked something inside of me and I am obsessed with the thought about self care! It kind of just fit in with everything I was trying to work on for the past few weeks! And just shows how IMPORTANT self care is! Even if it just 10-30 minutes a morning or evening. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF and recenter and have peace and happiness! I'll be blogging a lot more about this later. But a big part of my self care is taking the time to journal again! I used to be an avid journal write growing up then I was not so good at it. Now I am getting to much peace from writing!

+Positivity- I watched the Documentary The Secret on Netflix. The graphics are super cheesy and I do not like how the Documentary is put together but I LOVE the message. It's all about the Law of Attraction and how you can have the life that you want by putting it out into the universe, making it known, and pretending like it's already yours. ANYWAYS, I would recommend it to everyone because of the message but maybe try and find the book because I liked that better! ANYWAYS- each morning, when I'm doing yoga, or if I catch my thoughts are super negative, and every night I have a few phrases that I say to myself to make me more positive. Anxiety has this way of wanting to scare you and trap you and tell you that you will always be that way and that you will always be stuck and that everything has a negative or scary ending. But turning my thoughts into positive ones has been SO powerful in my everyday life. Just saying a few simple positive phrases! 

"Many times when God isn't changing your circumstance it's because He's mostly concerned with changing YOU within your circumstance. Your character, your inner strength, your integrity matters to Him because they are everlasting qualities. The wisdom, the strength and the maturity that grows within you are all things you're going to need to sustain the calling God has on your life. Know that there is a purpose in your pain."

Keep Fighting everyone!!

xoxo

Bailey

Images via Pinterest

2016

This year was one with a lot of ups and a lot of downs. 100% it was a year for learning and a year for growing. It taught me a lot of life lessons about love, the atonement, and forgiveness. It was a year of anxiety, as much as I hate to admit, harder than I have ever experienced before.  A year for learning about marriage and how to chose our battles. It was a year of cuddles and pizza rolls and watching Friends. It was a year of overcoming and pushing through hard things. It was a year of love and support and laughter. This is one of those years that I will look back and know that I grew from it and became a better me for it! I love the idea of a  new, fresh start! Even though it can happen at any point in the year, I really love when January comes around. We can set new goals and reflect and think on our past year and what we want from this next one. It always helps to put things in perspective for me. Plus I love memories and seeing all the fun things we got to do!
Here is our 2016 in Review!

January +Lakers Game at Staples Center  +Disneyland yayay +St George

February +Reunited with my BFF Aubs after 18 months! +Met up with my Utah BFFs  for a little reunion + Twin  Falls with my family +Our first Valentines Day together

March +Started this new Blog

April +My BIRTHDAY +Conference Weekend +Dyed my hair blonde +Started working out

May +Got my first Vox Box + 1 year since me & Pax started dating #presh +Ashtynn Graduated  High School +Hiked Packsaddle Lake with some friends +Started Insanity Max30

June +Pax got me roses just because +Pax surprised me with David Archuleta Tickets +Paxton took the DAT and applied for Dental School +Paxton had his first knee surgery +We got our first niece, Blakely!

July +4th of July was spent with both of our families at the Greenbelt +Went to the Aquarium +Went to the Puppy Barn +Aubrey's Bridal Shower +Spray tans & a sleepover with my BFFs +Fireworks & Sodalicious +Drive in Movie with my honey BFG and Finding Dory

August +Jackson Hole WY with Paxton's Family for his Grandparents 50th +Square Ice Cream         + Aubreys wedding +We went to the Hogle Zoo +7 Peaks +Bees Baseball Game (We got to go on the field) +Rigby Lake +1 Year since we got engaged +Lottie's 1st Birthday

September +Pax started school +My family moved here +School, work, school, work

October  +Paxtons Birthdayyyyy +Made my first wreath #domestic +School, work, school, work +Spent Halloween watching Friends

November +1 year Anniversary +Kourtney's baby shower  +Kesley announced she is pregnant +Big Judds for the first time +Thanksgiving with Paxton's family

December +Christmas tiiiiime +Bought our first Christmas Tree & Stockings +David Archuleta Christmas Concert with my mom +Spent Christmas in Canada with my family +Got a 2nd wedding band!

Cheers to the New Year loves!

xoxo
Bailey

1 Year of Marriage

PC: Raven Carter Photography

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME & MY HUBBY <3! 1 WHOLE YEAR! I Seriously can't even believe that it's been a year!! It feels like it has gone by SO fast but at the same time me and Pax always joke that it feels like we've been married for at least 5 years. This past year has been full of UPS and full of DOWNS. Because that is what marriage is! I think the hardest part about being married for me was realizing that it isn't perfect! That i'm not perfect, he's not perfect, our house isn't perfect, and our lives aren't perfect. And that that is OKAY! I always had everything planned out perfectly in my head about how life and marriage was supposed to be, but now I know I wasn't realistic. Because I was expecting perfection and when it wasn't perfect I would panic and stress so much! But I've learned so much in this past year! I've learned that marriage is seriously just trial and error, learning and growing, COMMUNICATION, COMPROMISE, and fighting for love through this crazy world! 
The past few weeks we have REALLY made it an effort to make our marriage better and better and to love and appreciate each other more than we even did before. Because marriage requires effort! 100% from both people all the time!And after you've lived with them and loved with them for a few months sometimes it's easy to just get into a routine and easy to go through the motions. I hate that. So we have had to make goals for ourselves each week. We discuss how we feel we personally did that week, what we are going to work on this week, and ask what the other person needs from us to make our marriage better and happier! And we are better and happier than we ever have been! Because our marriage is such big focus in our lives.
Another thing that has really helped us through this last year is understanding each others needs and each others love languages. SO IMPORTANT!!!!! It seems so simple and so easy, but it's a game changer! Example- Paxton's #1 love language is service. Service is probably like my last one. So when he is doing service for me- washing the dishes, cleaning the house, helping me out, in my mind it is just something he should do. But to him that is how he was showing me he loved me! And my #1 love language is Physical Touch and so I was always cuddling and holding his hand and kissing him and that's how I was showing him how much I loved him and I would get crushed when I felt like he wasn't as touchy as me cause in my mind we should ALWAYS be holding hands when we can because we are in love. But to him  he doesn't always have to hold my hand and touch me to show me he loves me. Now that we understand that, he does his best to be touchy and I do my best to not get sad if he isn't touchy. I really try to appreciate him and thank him when he is doing service for me, and I try to show him love by doing more service for him!
Marriage is the best thing ever and I'm so so so happy I have Pax by my side for the rest of forever. He truly knows me and loves me. He is so patient and such a hard worker. He is changed and grown and become such an incredible husband that I am so blessed to have! He is my best friend in this whole world and I get to fall asleep with him each night and wake up to him each morning. Life is hard. Life is tough. But it is so much better when you have your human by your side to get through things with!

I love you Pax
xoxo
Bailey

LOVE STORY PART 4: Wedding Planning August-November

So crazy that it is already November! I seriously can't even believe that it is mine and Paxton's anniversary month! 1 year!? It's gone by so fast! So fast that I haven't even finished our "Love Story" and written about our actual wedding day*face palm*. I have no excuses haha. So i'll write part 4 today, but you can be expecting part 5 (Our wedding day) to come on our anniversary! Better late than never right?

August- November  were spent sending screenshot after screenshot back and for between my mom and sister. We created a secret board where we could all 3 pin wedding pictures and exchange ideas! I spent HOURS on Instagram/Facebook/Pinterest/Google deciding between photographers, dresses, cakes, flowers, and picking out invites. It was hard to even know where to begin with it all! I  kept a book where i wrote down EVERYTHING and ANYTHING pertaining to the wedding. I'll break it all down for you-

THE DECOR

I based my wedding off of these gorgeous pictures. I took bits and pieces from each picture that I liked to get the look I wanted. I decided my colors were going to be gold, deep purples, and berry colors. I wanted wood textures, antler sheds, pine cones, glitter, berries, and vintage gold bowls/lamps/vases. On my next post i'll show you everything in detail!! Also, right when I saw this cake I didn't even look for any other ones cause I was obsessed with it! Yay for Pinterest.

THE INVITATIONS

I have this adorable friend Alex that had made wedding invites for a few people that I just LOVED. So I asked her if she would be willing to design them for me!  I think I just searched "wedding invites" on Etsy and sent her a few of the styles I really liked. I told her my colors and in a short amount of time she made these. I WAS OBSESSED! They turned out literally PERFECT. (We used 2 invited to display the front and the back of the cards).  She was super willing to help make them exactly like I wanted. I wanted our pictures to be separate, so we just tied them together to get the look I wanted before we sent them out. Also, we used postable.com to get all the addresses of friends and family that we had on Facebook- SUPER HELPFUL. Then we called, emailed, texted to get all the rest of the addresses and compiled it all onto an Excel sheet to make sure we didn't have duplicated and that we didn't forget anyone! I would HIGHLY recommend it! Then we took it to a print shop and they Printed everyones names addresses on the envelopes for us which made things so much easier!

 THE DRESS

I honestly didn't go dress shopping or try on one single wedding dress! For some reason I feel like I didn't have this "wedding dress obsession" like most girls do.  I didn't want to spend a ton of money on something that was just going to sit in my closet, and it was more important to me to get incredible pictures of our special day. I still wanted something that was unique and was "me", and I knew I wasn't going to find MY dress at your typical wedding dress shop. I wanted one that had long or 3/4 sleeves,  was unique,  and I would be comfortable in since I would be wearing it all day long. I obviously wanted a nice dress and to feel pretty in it, but I really just didn't love all the fancy smancy dresses.  So I just looked online. I saw a girl on Instagram that had this first dress from Free People that I was in love with. We couldn't find it ANYWHERE because it was from a few years ago. I was so bummed. My wonderful mom found this gorgeous dress on BHLDN (Anthropologies wedding dresses). It ended up actually being considered a "reception dress" but I was in love with it! It was simple, had gorgeous detail, and we ordered it! It was less than $300 which blew my mind. It came in the mail and it fit! The only alterations I had to do was make it 2 inches shorter , bring in the arms a little bit, and I had to rent a slip to go under it because it was pretty thin fabric but that all cost me less than $75. For the shoes, I decided I wanted to get some cute ankle booties because 1) It was November 2) You can't really see my shoes because the dress was so long 3) I wanted something I would be able to wear again. I got my WEDDING shoes at Old Navy. Haha it sounds kind of funny but they were exactly what I wanted.

Photographer/Videographer

I love watching wedding videos just as much as seeing all the pictures and it was important to me that we had both!Having video footage of our wedding day meant getting to relive the best day of my life over in a different way! I wanted to see my wedding from that point of view as well! 2 Of my friends from Provo were starting up a little videography business and said they would do our wedding for free, so of course I took them up on that! When trying to find a photographer, all the photographers and locations I was obsessed with were from Utah, so I convinced Paxton to let us drive there to get engagements and bridals taken. I wanted the same photographer for engagements, bridals, and our wedding day. I booked Alixann Loosle Photography . She had a great package deal going on which included Engagements, Bridals, and our wedding day, all of the unedited pictures and a good amount of edited ones, plus her travel fee was only $100 which was a lot cheaper than a lot of other ones I contacted. I think it all ended up being around $2000. Ya we had to do a few hours of driving, but it was 100% worth it because they turned out PERFECTLY.  We did engagements in October and Bridals in November. 

 Florist

Since we were doing pictures in Utah, my friend recommended one of her friends JaNae! They turned out exactly how I wanted, like they couldn't have been more perfect!!!Heart eyes x10000 I sent her the pictures I posted above and told her the bits and pieces I loved in each bouquet and she did a phenomenal job. For our actual wedding day we used someone local Blush Floral . I'll show you those pictures on my next post!

VENUE

I was stubborn and did not want to do it at a cultural hall. I knew my mom would still make it fabulous, but I just couldn't. We booked The Stone House & Co and it all turned out exactly how I wanted it. They catered the luncheon and the reception so it made food decisions 100 times easier. It was nice to have everything taken care of. They had chairs there and had some cute wreathes and greenery but we brought all the other decor which I will show you on our anniversary post! 

EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN

My cute mother in law planned a bridal shower for me so all of the people that grew up with me and Paxton could attend as well as my family in this area! My 2 best friends Whitney and Mckayla did one for me at my hometown as well! I had my bachelorette party in Utah with all my college BFFS the night before we took our bridal pictures. We did all the fun pre wedding stuff like registering at Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Macys. We found a cute little 2 bed apartment for a GREAT deal and we got our marriage license. I was a stress case during all this time, and I wish I could go back and tell myself to calm the heck down and to just live in the moment!

xoxo

Bailey