December 2 I was thrown into this whole knew realm of anxiety. It transformed to Panic Disorder and then to Agoraphobia. It was this whole new thing for me that I have never experienced and I could have never imagined that I would go through it. I'll spare you all the details and get to the good part. The part where I finally have hope back in my life. The part where I am yelling it out to the Universe that I CAN DO THIS.
This is transformation time for me because I've chosen to make it that. I've chosen to FIGHT this and try everything that I possibly can to manage my anxiety and take back MY life. I was brought so low, SO SO low, lower than I could have ever imagined, so that I could CHANGE and TRANSFORM. Sounds super dramatic and/or cliche, right? But it's true. And it's taken me a while to get to this point but I'm on this journey right now to help myself heal (I just love that word so much).
Here is my healing journey so far-
A week and a half a go I chose certain things that I was going to work on and and ways I was going to change. I didn't want to just let anxiety run my world and I didn't want to just sit around and wish it away. I wanted to actively be doing things to help myself! And I was willing to do and try anything. Seriously. I was so so stuck you guys. Anyways these things have brought me hope over the past few weeks and are a big part of my healing journey.
+Research- I wanted to learn more about anxiety, panic disorders, and agoraphobia. I went to Dr Google and searched everything and anything about them. I feel like it helped me to understand why my body was doing this in order to help me to change it. I read tons of great articles that gave tons of great insights and advice on how to overcome it and things to try. Anxiety Coach and Calm Clinic were great and useful websites!
+Yoga- I've been wanting to get more into yoga these past few weeks so I figured now would be the perfect time. I started reading about Yoga and how it can help anxiety! The Yoga Journal has some awesome articles about yoga and anxiety together and separate. (Here's an awesome article that really was helpful to me!) I started doing yoga every day and using that time to just focus on me and healing. It was incredible how much peace and hope I found by doing this. I started learning more about yoga, chakras, mantras, intentions, balance and became hooked. I started by pinning a bunch of yoga tutorials, pictures, and flows from Pinterest so that I could learn and do more. Here is my Yoga board that helped me to get started.
+Meditation-I read and watched a lot of videos about meditation and all the benefits of it. I have used the app Headspace many times and after doing the free trial 2x I saw how meditation really was beneficial for me. I loved how I could just take an absolute BREAK for 10 minutes and just be at peace and recenter myself and I wanted more so I purchased it and I'm SO happy that I did! It has taught me a lot about not reacting to my thoughts and how to separate my emotions from my thoughts.
+Counseling- I have gone to counseling 3 times in the past week and a half and I'm so grateful that I started it. It feels so good to be able to get feedback from someone who has tools that they can teach me to help myself cope and manage my anxiety. I have loved having an outlet where I can be 100% uncensored and honest that they truly care and do understand. It's not only helping me with my anxiety but other aspects of my life as well. The biggest thing I have learned so far is how I need to ACCEPT my anxiety. I think for my whole life I tried to FIGHT it, and accepting it just seems crazy to me because I DONT WANT IT. I DONT WANT IT TO BE APART OF ME. But my counselor has helped me to realize that I have it, and there's nothing I can do about that fact, so I need to accept it. It is changing my life.
+ Self Care- I found a Pin about Self Care that lead me to this Blog. I LOVE this post and this blog!! It sparked something inside of me and I am obsessed with the thought about self care! It kind of just fit in with everything I was trying to work on for the past few weeks! And just shows how IMPORTANT self care is! Even if it just 10-30 minutes a morning or evening. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF and recenter and have peace and happiness! I'll be blogging a lot more about this later. But a big part of my self care is taking the time to journal again! I used to be an avid journal write growing up then I was not so good at it. Now I am getting to much peace from writing!
+Positivity- I watched the Documentary The Secret on Netflix. The graphics are super cheesy and I do not like how the Documentary is put together but I LOVE the message. It's all about the Law of Attraction and how you can have the life that you want by putting it out into the universe, making it known, and pretending like it's already yours. ANYWAYS, I would recommend it to everyone because of the message but maybe try and find the book because I liked that better! ANYWAYS- each morning, when I'm doing yoga, or if I catch my thoughts are super negative, and every night I have a few phrases that I say to myself to make me more positive. Anxiety has this way of wanting to scare you and trap you and tell you that you will always be that way and that you will always be stuck and that everything has a negative or scary ending. But turning my thoughts into positive ones has been SO powerful in my everyday life. Just saying a few simple positive phrases!
"Many times when God isn't changing your circumstance it's because He's mostly concerned with changing YOU within your circumstance. Your character, your inner strength, your integrity matters to Him because they are everlasting qualities. The wisdom, the strength and the maturity that grows within you are all things you're going to need to sustain the calling God has on your life. Know that there is a purpose in your pain."
Keep Fighting everyone!!
xoxo
Bailey
Images via Pinterest
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