8 Ways To Start Changing Hatred About Our Bodies Into Love

I've been thinking about this post ALL DAY LONG. But let me give you a little background before I get into it:

For the past 3 days I have literally cried multiple times because of my current weight and body shape. I've been 110% devastated and humiliated by my body. I'm discouraged because I have been working out and eating healthier since January and there has been NO difference despite my daily efforts(I know there is some medical stuff I need to factor in but still). It's discouraging. I feel like I am doing all the right things and I can NOT lose weight. So i'm frustrated and depressed about it and having a really hard time with loving myself right now. Just the facts.

Then yesterday a light bulb went off when I was looking through pictures from my freshman year of college. I kept thinking to myself- "Wow.  I can't believe I used to think I was fat back then! I would give anything to look like that again! I had such a cute figure but I remember I was never happy with how I looked. I really truly thought I was so fat!" Do you guys do that!? Look through old pictures and remember thinking how fat you were and now realizing you WERE NOT any of those negative thoughts you had about yourself? UGH.

And then I realized-  I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPY WITH MY BODY EVER. Even  when I was 125 pounds I thought I was fat.  And i bet that even if I was at my "goal" weight and had the body I wanted right now, I probably still wouldn't even be happy with myself. Because ultimately it's not just my body that I need to change- IT'S MY MINDSET. Because I feel like even if I looked how I wished I look and weighed what I wished I weighed I would STILL find more and more things to pick out and try and change about myself and would still be unhappy. So right now I need to try to find happiness, balance, and confidence in my NOW. Not just my "future". And chances are- so do you.

Because if we can't do that, we are going to continue to be unhappy with our bodies for the rest of our freaking lives. And I don't want that and I bet you don't either.  I've spent most of my life being very uncomfortable in my own skin. Even when I shouldn't have been. I've missed out on a lot of happy & loving thoughts to go towards myself because I've spent most of it tearing myself down and being disappointed. Raise your hand if ya feel me?

It's truly terrible how hard we are on ourselves. And how we feel like we can only be happy if we
are a size 0, weigh 120 pounds,  big boobs have a thigh gap and a 6 pack. THAT IS NOT TRUE. It's good to have goals and to want to be our best selves! TOTALLY. Life is all about progression.But it's definitely not okay to despise ourselves when we haven't reached those goals. It's not okay to tell ourselves how fat and unloveable we are. It's not okay to hate ourselves and our bodies. No matter the current shape or size.

So what do we do? How do we change this mindset? How do we change hatred into love?
There probably 1000 answers to these questions but here are some of my own that I think will be a good starting point for me-and maybe it will  be a good place for you to start too!

+I need to realize that the first thought that someone has about me is probably NOT about my weight.
+I need to realize that my body does not define me, my actions and words do.
+I need to not be so judgmental of myself because chances are, people are not being as judgmental to me as I think they are.
+I need to realize I am trying my hardest and give myself credit for the hard work I have been doing to become a healthier me this year even though I haven't gotten the results I've wanted. I'm very quick to criticize myself and very slow to compliment myself.
+I need to be okay and ACCEPT that I need to go up a pant size because it's more important for me to feel comfortable in the clothes I am wearing than try and wear something tight and uncomfortable just because of the number on the tag
+It's okay to buy cute clothes right now, even though i'm not the size I would like be. It's important to still feel pretty. And I can still feel pretty even when I'm not as skinny as I would like to be.
+Feeding myself negative thoughts and words is only going to hurt me and make me more depressed. I need to try and only tell myself things that I would tell my sisters! And those would be positive and uplifting things!
+I need to accept where I am at in my weight loss journey now and know I have done my best.  My best is literally all I can do.

xoxo
Bailey

so..like..where do I even start with being a healthy??

The other day on my Instagram Stories  I posted about my struggle with losing weight and asked for some advice! Healthy snack ideas, things to drink instead of pop, workouts, meal plants that have worked for people etc.  Sometimes (all the time) this stuff seems so overwhelming to me and I just can't even handle knowing where to start so I don't start haha- who can relate? I received SO many amazing and helpful answers I wanted to share them here! The things that I loved about these comments is that there are SO many good and DIFFERENT options!  Some I never even thought of! And a lot of them are NOT super overwhelming and seem like a  great place to start so I can turn this into a lifestyle and not just a quick fix!

But first here's some words I need to say so people don't overthink stuff  and because it's what people say before posts like this maybe? IDK. Most of these comments were NOT written form professional health humans just awesome regular people like you & me trying to help a sister out! SOO consult your medical dr before starting new program blah blah blah, not all of this is 1000% fact and science so don't do anything cray cray,  everyone is different and needs different things so do what works best for you boo, if you don't agree with some of these comments thats okay just keep scrolling and don't be mean.


Instagram accounts or programs that were recommended!

+Clean Simple Eats  Her account got recommended to me 10+ times! One of the girls that recommended it said she lost 10 pounds from following her  cookbook! Woot Woot!

+ I Heart Macros 

+ Fitness Carli 

+Beach Body On Demand! "I have a hard time with sticking to any specific meal plan so I've just accumulated a ton of healthy or clean recipes and make them. I meal prep, or try to every Sunday. Everything I make is simple because I have literally no time and that's when I fail is because I don't have time to be healthy and just eat out instead. I try to stay really low carb and not buy anything I could cheat with.

+Weight watchers

+Whole 30! Go week by week rather than focus on the whole month!

+Plant based diet! earthyandy.com

+Use the Katy Hearn Fitness Macro Calculator . When my main goal is losing weight I follow macros everyday with a cheat day once a week! And the Lose It App

Workout Tips

+Lift weights! Heavy weights less reps!

+"I like to set goals so that I feel like I don't plateau with workouts! Maybe train for something! That will give you motivation to do cardio and keep adding more miles each day. Or set goals to get faster on the treadmill. Or lift a bit more weight. When I make exercise goals and I accomplish them I feel so confident, no matter what I look like!"

+Start with yoga then ease into working out if you are just barely starting out!

+Weight training with light cardio Bodybuilding.com has great workout plans!

 Meals/Eating Advice

+Meal plan & meal prep!! If you prep and have a healthy lunch ready to take with you, you're more likely to eat that instead of buying something unhealthy or grabbing something frozen to heat up! Almonds, fruit, baby carrots, cut peppers for snack! Prepped so it's easy to go to the fridge and grab a bag!

+"I noticed I would binge when I would try to cut foods out or try to restrict calories. Eating regularly, getting enough protein, and eating a good breakfast+lunch have been game changers"

+"Smaller portions and eating until I'm full not when my plate is empty. Also, use smaller plates"

+"Cut sugar and carbs down! it forces you to eat more greens/veggies. I've world out my whole life and what has really helped me see results is watching what I eat a little more than normal"

+"I will never be the person who never eats carbs ya know? I wanted to do something realistic for ME and never eating fries or ice cream just isn't going to work" GIRL AFTER MY OWN HEART!
-Drink 4 bottles of 32 oz of water a day! Take 10 sips overtime you go to drink your water to help you get more water intake
-Meal ideas: breakfast 2 hard boiled eggs OR yogurt with granola (oiko triple zero yogurt & granola that's not loaded with sugar! Lunch: Tuna with a TINY bit of mayo and lots of pickles on a pita bread OR chicken, rice, and veggies. Snacks: cheese sticks, sugar free applesauce, quaker rice cakes, baby carrots. Dinner: protein and a veggie. If craving a treat just a BITE of something sweet, not the whole thing

+Snacks: string cheese, broccli steamed and dipped in teriyaki sauce, cottage cheese, nature valley bars, fruit cups, applesauce packets.

+Greek yogurt or high protein oatmeal fro breakfast, hard boiled eggs or hummus & veggies for snacks, lunch and dinner meals that are high in protein and low in carbs.

+Snacks with protein so it's filling and more satsifying. Drink tea with meals and snacks, it keeps me fuller and warm meals make me feel more satisfies

Mindfulness

+Eat what you love! Be mindful of what you put into your body and try to eat as organic and sugar free as you can! It has to be a life style. Not looking at it as "what to eat and what not to eat" but eating when you feel like it and not eating when you don't

+"Intuitive Eating. There are no off limit foods, but you train your mind and body to listen to what it wants. It's whole point ins't weight loss, but it has helped me feel so much better about my body! I would recommend that Intuitive Eating Podcast and the book called Intuitive Eating."

+"I try to stay positive! Like every healthy food and every time I workout is closer and closer to being the weight I want to be!"

+Energy work with muscle testing to remove "blocks" that cause the "fail"

To Help With That Sweet Tooth
+Clean energy bites  +Protein bars   +Protein Shakes     +Banana  with Almond milk smoothies

+Freeze bananas and blend them with milk to make banana ice cream! Add chocolate protein powder!

+"Eat fruit! Replace any type of chips or cookies with fruit! They have less calories and boost your metabolism!"

+ "I tried not eating sugar for a week. It was really hard. So I decided not to cut it out completely. I would buy a fun treat and hide it from myself. IF I was craving it I would let myself have one. Then I would go eat something healthy. "

+Instead of buying a gallon of ice cream, buy a tiny one! 

+HALO TOP

+Smoothies!
1 Cup of Mango
1Banana
Handful of spinach
Chia Seeds
Flax seed
Cut complex
Orange juice to fill halfway! thanks @cjtaylorhair

1 banana
1/4 C frozen berries
1/2 C mixed fruit
1-1.5 tsp Apple Cider Vinegar
Light handful of spinach
1 C Unsweetened Almond Milk thanks @madsfavthings

Instead of pop!

+Water water water! +La Croix drinks   +Mio   +Crystal Light    +Bubly   +Sparkling water    +Zevia

+"Put fruit in your water! lemon water is too healthy and decreases your appetite as you drink it throughout the day! You can put strawberries in it too to make it taste better!"

Supplements 
+Plexus

+ WMNutrition  Their advantraslim that helps curb cravings and keeps you energized and boosts your metabolism! And their Sleep it Off which helps you burn fat while you sleep and helps you have more restful sleep!

This week  I will post about what I am PERSONALLY  adding into my day to day life from these awesome tips!  Thanks so much to everyone who contributed! You guys rock!!  Wishing everyone a happy healthy life that includes the occasionally chocolate chip cookie haha. 

xoxo
Bailey

The Girl Who Always Told Me How Fat I Was.

She would always tell me how fat I was.
How no one thought I was pretty because of my thunder thighs and flabby belly.
She would tell me how my body made me so ugly.
How I could never be confident in who I was until I was a size 2.
She told me I was the "fat" friend.
That no boys would ever like me because I was so FAT.
How I should just starve myself because that was the only way I could get skinny.

That girl was me. To myself.  For a large portion of my life. Those were the things I would tell myself when I looked in the mirror or tried on clothes at the store. I know I am not the only one who has struggled with this self hatred towards their own body so that's why I am sharing this and telling you how I am CHANGING THE GAME BIG TIME FOR ME. And how you can too!

A little more background on me and my body:

I remember one year in college I was so angry at myself for the 10 pounds I had gained I would look at myself in the mirror and say all the negative and mean things about my body I could come up with. Not only that but when I would eat food I would tell myself things like "do you know how many calories this is? you are so fat. this is going to make you fat. you shouldn't eat." When I would exercise I would continue to be negative and yell at myself for not being in shape. Not being skinny. And compare myself to anyone else who was smaller than me. I really thought that if I made myself feel bad enough about myself that maybe THEN I would have the motivation to really change.

I WAS SO WRONG. Those thoughts were not helping me ONE BIT.  I've learned that the words you say and think impact your life SO much. On a HUGE level that many of us may not even realize. I was telling myself those negative things to much that my BODY was believing it and not changing no matter how much I worked out or ate healthy or went on crazy diets.  All those nasty negative words were NOT making me skinnier, they were NOT making me more fit, more healthy more anything except for sad, depressed, and extremely self conscious.

Last year I gained a lot of weight- partially from the anxiety medication I started but mostly because my physical health was not a top priority. My mental health was. I maybe exercises on average 1-2x a week. I would go through phases where I was consistent and long periods where I wasn't. Not to mention I just didn't have energy, food was more of a comfort for me, I didn't have a lot of motivation and some days I just didn't have it in me. I know those are excuses, I accept that but I also know that I did what I could last year. And it was a year for taking care of myself mentally as best as I could.  Trust me- I could sit here and be upset with myself and say all the things I "COULD HAVE" done. I could be mad at myself for letting myself get this unhealthy and out of shape. BUT then I would NOT be doing the things I worked SOOOOO hard at doing last year mentally including self love and self care and being kinder to myself.

SOOOOOO
Here is what I am NOT doing anymore:
I am NOT comparing myself to who I used to be, or anybody else.
I am not doing this to be skinny.
I am not doing this to be a smaller size and weight.
I am not focusing on what I am NOT.
Goodbye negative wording.

I  AM changing literally EVERYTHING I have ever done to try and be fit and healthy. Partially because it obviously hasn't worked for me in the past and partially because I want this to be a form of self care and be sort of a reflection of many things I learned last year.
+I love self care SOOOOO much and so if I view exercise as taking care of myself and a way of loving myself I know  I will make time for it.
+I am taking the word "skinnier" out of my vocal and changing it to "stronger/healthier".
+Instead of trying to be a certain number on the scale I am focusing on how many more sets or reps I can do.
+ Instead of telling myself "I'm still fat. I'll never be skinny. I hate how I look." I am telling myself "I am getting stronger. I am getting healthier. I can do this and I am grateful for the body I have and all that I CAN do!"
+Instead of making excuses of why I can't exercise that day, I am inviting myself to make the healthier choice that I will be grateful for after. But I am also allowing myself to make good judgements on days when I am exhausted or sick that it is okay to take a break and go walking or do yoga instead. That way I won't be negative or mad at myself because that won't help anything and is not loving myself.
+Instead of saying things like "this is so hard! i can't do this" when I am exercising I am being my biggest support system and telling myself "I can do this! I am so proud of myself for exercising today! I am one step closer to being healthier!" I did this today during my workout and noticed a big difference!!

To tell you a secret I started a top secret Instagram account for ME to document anything I want to and not have to worry about "cute and perfect" feed. Documenting everything that is making me healthier mind-body-spirit. Eventually maybe I'll be brave enough to share it with you all.
xox
bailey