8 Ways To Start Changing Hatred About Our Bodies Into Love

I've been thinking about this post ALL DAY LONG. But let me give you a little background before I get into it:

For the past 3 days I have literally cried multiple times because of my current weight and body shape. I've been 110% devastated and humiliated by my body. I'm discouraged because I have been working out and eating healthier since January and there has been NO difference despite my daily efforts(I know there is some medical stuff I need to factor in but still). It's discouraging. I feel like I am doing all the right things and I can NOT lose weight. So i'm frustrated and depressed about it and having a really hard time with loving myself right now. Just the facts.

Then yesterday a light bulb went off when I was looking through pictures from my freshman year of college. I kept thinking to myself- "Wow.  I can't believe I used to think I was fat back then! I would give anything to look like that again! I had such a cute figure but I remember I was never happy with how I looked. I really truly thought I was so fat!" Do you guys do that!? Look through old pictures and remember thinking how fat you were and now realizing you WERE NOT any of those negative thoughts you had about yourself? UGH.

And then I realized-  I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPY WITH MY BODY EVER. Even  when I was 125 pounds I thought I was fat.  And i bet that even if I was at my "goal" weight and had the body I wanted right now, I probably still wouldn't even be happy with myself. Because ultimately it's not just my body that I need to change- IT'S MY MINDSET. Because I feel like even if I looked how I wished I look and weighed what I wished I weighed I would STILL find more and more things to pick out and try and change about myself and would still be unhappy. So right now I need to try to find happiness, balance, and confidence in my NOW. Not just my "future". And chances are- so do you.

Because if we can't do that, we are going to continue to be unhappy with our bodies for the rest of our freaking lives. And I don't want that and I bet you don't either.  I've spent most of my life being very uncomfortable in my own skin. Even when I shouldn't have been. I've missed out on a lot of happy & loving thoughts to go towards myself because I've spent most of it tearing myself down and being disappointed. Raise your hand if ya feel me?

It's truly terrible how hard we are on ourselves. And how we feel like we can only be happy if we
are a size 0, weigh 120 pounds,  big boobs have a thigh gap and a 6 pack. THAT IS NOT TRUE. It's good to have goals and to want to be our best selves! TOTALLY. Life is all about progression.But it's definitely not okay to despise ourselves when we haven't reached those goals. It's not okay to tell ourselves how fat and unloveable we are. It's not okay to hate ourselves and our bodies. No matter the current shape or size.

So what do we do? How do we change this mindset? How do we change hatred into love?
There probably 1000 answers to these questions but here are some of my own that I think will be a good starting point for me-and maybe it will  be a good place for you to start too!

+I need to realize that the first thought that someone has about me is probably NOT about my weight.
+I need to realize that my body does not define me, my actions and words do.
+I need to not be so judgmental of myself because chances are, people are not being as judgmental to me as I think they are.
+I need to realize I am trying my hardest and give myself credit for the hard work I have been doing to become a healthier me this year even though I haven't gotten the results I've wanted. I'm very quick to criticize myself and very slow to compliment myself.
+I need to be okay and ACCEPT that I need to go up a pant size because it's more important for me to feel comfortable in the clothes I am wearing than try and wear something tight and uncomfortable just because of the number on the tag
+It's okay to buy cute clothes right now, even though i'm not the size I would like be. It's important to still feel pretty. And I can still feel pretty even when I'm not as skinny as I would like to be.
+Feeding myself negative thoughts and words is only going to hurt me and make me more depressed. I need to try and only tell myself things that I would tell my sisters! And those would be positive and uplifting things!
+I need to accept where I am at in my weight loss journey now and know I have done my best.  My best is literally all I can do.

xoxo
Bailey

March Clarity TheraBox

You are looking at $150 worth of products from the March Clarity Therabox. I enjoyed my January Box so  much I had to treat myself again.  So here are all the goodies that came in this box:

Wildflower Seed Bombs- They look like the coolest things ever!!! Here is the link to the easy shop these came from because I have never heard of them before! They come in these clay/flower petal/soil bombs and you plant them outside or in a pot! HOW COOL. We have been so busy these past few weeks I have not yet had the opportunity to plant these but I am SO excited!

European Spa Whipped Soap-  First of all anything that has the word European and Spa together HAS to be good right!? This soap is a cleanser, exfoliator, and moisturizer. I've been using it as a shaving cream and I am loving it! Doesn't dry my skin out like normal shaving creams and smells/feels amazing

Day Dreamer Essential Oil- This is my favorite item from the box! I love essential oils and I love yummy essential oil blends! It smells absolutely amazing and the packaging is adorable. This one helps with stress and anxiety which is right down my alley so I use it ALL the time!

Aromatherapy Shower Steamer- I was so excited to try these! They are made with eucalyptus essential oils and is supposed to help clear the sinuses, soothe sore throats, and support immune systems. You put it in the bottom of your shower and let the steam do its thing. I tried one of them and honestly don't know if I did it right because I didn't love it? And couldn't really smell it? Therefore didn't really feel any therapeutic benefits but it looked cool watching it dissolve hahahaha

Clarity Hypnosis Meditation CD- I will be 100% honest and say I would have already used this by now but I do not own a CD player... because it's 2018 and do CD players even exist? I didn't even know CDs still existed... totally joking. But really. This looks like a really cool meditation CD and retails over $70 so it must be good! 

Wooden Diffuser Bracelet- I've always wanted to try one of these! It is made from raw wooden beads and lava stone. I have been wearing it when I've been doing yoga and/or meditating and have really really liked it! The essential oil smell lasts a very long time and helps to keep me grounded.

Tibetan Rope Incense- I have never used incense before and for some reason it kind of intimidates me? So I haven't gotten around to using it yet! I want to wait for a day where I can meditate, set my intention, and really just vibe out hahah. It smells soooo yummy from the package so I'm excited! It says it's supposed to help with stress, depression, and tension so I will let you know what I think once I've used it!

Overall I was very pleased with this box and will most likely purchase a Therabox again! 

xoxo

Bailey

Want to join in on the fun!? Here is my referral link!

https://therabox.cratejoy.com/refer/Baile-JTGHKAIZ 

BATH BEVY

Bath Bevy is a dream come true. You know how much I love my baths, and you know how I feel about subscription boxes! This was a perfect combination and it was like Christmas when I found this package at my door! I was beyond excited to receive this cute Bath Bevy Box! This was February's box and I've already used all the product you see here. I know, I take baths like it's my job.

Sweet Lips Bubble Bar- I have never heard of a bubble bar before!! I was so excited to try it! You hold it under the running water and BAM bubbles galore! I liked the smell but I personally prefer liquid bubbles! It was also pretty crumbly and made a bit of a mess in the tub, but then again maybe I didn't do something right? Haha!

Pucker Up Bath Melt- This was one of my favorite products!! It not only smelled amazing but it made my skin SO soft!! I will definitely be purchasing this again!! You can use it as a in the shower lotion or in the bath! I used mine in the bath and rubbed it on my skin and oh my gosh this is the coolest thing ever!

Solid Lotion Bar- Love love loved this! I had never tried anything like this before or new it existed! It's basically lotion that looks like its in the form of chapstick! I use it everyday! It's almost feels a little greasy at first, but after a few moments it goes away and the smell lasts a long time!

Unicorn Kisses Bath Dust- HECK YES i freaking loved this! The colors were so fun!

Champagne Kisses- It is a sugar scrub, exfoliator, and moisturizer all in one! It is soooo pretty and soft! I would purchase this again but in a different scent!

Kiss Me Bath Bomb- Bath bombs are my all time favorite thing! Call me basic but man they make me so freaking happy! I have soon many of them and use them ALL the time!!

I 10/10 would recommend Bath Bevy to ALL bath and/or self care lovers!!! It exceeded all my expectations and I loved the products!!!!! It was so fun to be introduced to new brands & products! It's totally worth the money if you are someone who likes taking baths & enjoys fun bath products.

xo
Bailey

What Did I Think About My TheraBox!?

I can't help it- I AM OBSESSED WITH SUBSCRIPTION BOXES! 
+They are such a good way to TREAT YO SELF! 
+You have something to look forward to each month!
+It's like buying a gift for yourself but you still get the surprise!
+You get introduced to tons of new products and brands that are out there!
+You are getting tons of products that are worth SO MUCH MORE than the payment of the box itself!

Around Christmas time I decided I was going to use some of my Christmas money for a subscription box! Why get a new shirt when I can get a subscription box right? haha you guys I know it's kind of odd but I just freaking love subscription boxes.  So I started googling subscription boxes and found out there is literally a subscription box for EVERYTHING! I'm not even joking. It was so hard to decide which box to go with! There are so many out there that I want! I'm such a sucker for these things guys haha. 

Anyways, I came across TheraBox and instantly FELL IN LOVE. You know how passionate I am about self care/self love! THAT IS WHAT THIS BOX IS ABOUT! This is their mission statement:
"to inspire happier lives through practical joy boosting activities and thoughtful products! Each box is curated by therapists to increase your happiness using activities and products inspired by research in neuroscience, positive psychology, health, & wellness! We believe self care = self love  ♥ "

UM YES PLEASE!

I was so stoked!

January's box theme was YOUR YEAR! The first thing I saw was a cute pamphlet that explained what each product was, the retail value of the products(this box was $155 worth of products for only $34.95), and some of them had promo codes for discounts if you wanted to purchase the product again! So here is what was inside-

Goal Setting Journal- If you know me, you know I LOVED to journal growing up. I have 53 complete journals since the time I was 8 years old. It has always been a passion of mine so I was very excited for this! It even had off white pages which is the BEST.

Your Tea Energy Tea- I have never really been a tea drinker...not because I don't like it but it just wasn't really on my radar? I HAVE BEEN MISSING OUT!! And let's first take a moment to praise that gorgeous packaging! Love it! I will DEFINITELY be ordering from this brand again! They have so many other amazing teas as well. I linked their website because I'm obsessed with their entire BRAND! I'm probably going to try their Tiny Tea next!

Starboard Alchemy Mocha Mask- I've never been much of a face mask girl! I try soooo hard to like them but I just can't handle anything (besides makeup) being on my face! I gave it a try though and I loved the smell! But I gave it to my sisters to use because the mask life aint for me.

All Is Well Engraved Pen- Absolutely darling! It is seriously SO pretty and makes me feel fabulous. If it was at a store I don't think I would have purchased it but I'm definitely happy I have it.

Manna Kadar Cosmetics Precision Point Eyeliner- I've never heard of this brand before but I'm always excited to try a new eyeliner! I really liked it!! I don't think I would go out of my way to purchase it again, but I will enjoy it while I have it!

Becalm Signature Body Scrub - LOVED it. I just searched their website to link them and apparently they have tons of BOXES TOO! I'm in trouble! This was the best body scrub I have ever tried! It was very gentle and smelled amazing! I would totally purchase this again!

Coffee Mask- Like I said before, not a mask person, and definitely not a sheet mask person. I'M THE WORST I KNOW! So I also gifted this too my sisters even though I kept hoping I would change my mind and give it a go. Ugh. 

1 Months Subscrition To Lunar Yoga- I haven't started this yet because I want to be able to commit to a whole month of yoga and meditation BUT I'M SO EXCITED to get to try this!!!

Overall- totally worth it!! I didn't get Februarys box but I'm planning on getting March's!! I would recommend this to everyone! Seriously! It was the perfect little pick me up!

GOD BLESS SUBSCRIPTION BOX CREATORS

xo

Bailey

Want to join in on the fun!? Here is my referral link!
https://therabox.cratejoy.com/refer/Baile-JTGHKAIZ

The Girl Who Always Told Me How Fat I Was.

She would always tell me how fat I was.
How no one thought I was pretty because of my thunder thighs and flabby belly.
She would tell me how my body made me so ugly.
How I could never be confident in who I was until I was a size 2.
She told me I was the "fat" friend.
That no boys would ever like me because I was so FAT.
How I should just starve myself because that was the only way I could get skinny.

That girl was me. To myself.  For a large portion of my life. Those were the things I would tell myself when I looked in the mirror or tried on clothes at the store. I know I am not the only one who has struggled with this self hatred towards their own body so that's why I am sharing this and telling you how I am CHANGING THE GAME BIG TIME FOR ME. And how you can too!

A little more background on me and my body:

I remember one year in college I was so angry at myself for the 10 pounds I had gained I would look at myself in the mirror and say all the negative and mean things about my body I could come up with. Not only that but when I would eat food I would tell myself things like "do you know how many calories this is? you are so fat. this is going to make you fat. you shouldn't eat." When I would exercise I would continue to be negative and yell at myself for not being in shape. Not being skinny. And compare myself to anyone else who was smaller than me. I really thought that if I made myself feel bad enough about myself that maybe THEN I would have the motivation to really change.

I WAS SO WRONG. Those thoughts were not helping me ONE BIT.  I've learned that the words you say and think impact your life SO much. On a HUGE level that many of us may not even realize. I was telling myself those negative things to much that my BODY was believing it and not changing no matter how much I worked out or ate healthy or went on crazy diets.  All those nasty negative words were NOT making me skinnier, they were NOT making me more fit, more healthy more anything except for sad, depressed, and extremely self conscious.

Last year I gained a lot of weight- partially from the anxiety medication I started but mostly because my physical health was not a top priority. My mental health was. I maybe exercises on average 1-2x a week. I would go through phases where I was consistent and long periods where I wasn't. Not to mention I just didn't have energy, food was more of a comfort for me, I didn't have a lot of motivation and some days I just didn't have it in me. I know those are excuses, I accept that but I also know that I did what I could last year. And it was a year for taking care of myself mentally as best as I could.  Trust me- I could sit here and be upset with myself and say all the things I "COULD HAVE" done. I could be mad at myself for letting myself get this unhealthy and out of shape. BUT then I would NOT be doing the things I worked SOOOOO hard at doing last year mentally including self love and self care and being kinder to myself.

SOOOOOO
Here is what I am NOT doing anymore:
I am NOT comparing myself to who I used to be, or anybody else.
I am not doing this to be skinny.
I am not doing this to be a smaller size and weight.
I am not focusing on what I am NOT.
Goodbye negative wording.

I  AM changing literally EVERYTHING I have ever done to try and be fit and healthy. Partially because it obviously hasn't worked for me in the past and partially because I want this to be a form of self care and be sort of a reflection of many things I learned last year.
+I love self care SOOOOO much and so if I view exercise as taking care of myself and a way of loving myself I know  I will make time for it.
+I am taking the word "skinnier" out of my vocal and changing it to "stronger/healthier".
+Instead of trying to be a certain number on the scale I am focusing on how many more sets or reps I can do.
+ Instead of telling myself "I'm still fat. I'll never be skinny. I hate how I look." I am telling myself "I am getting stronger. I am getting healthier. I can do this and I am grateful for the body I have and all that I CAN do!"
+Instead of making excuses of why I can't exercise that day, I am inviting myself to make the healthier choice that I will be grateful for after. But I am also allowing myself to make good judgements on days when I am exhausted or sick that it is okay to take a break and go walking or do yoga instead. That way I won't be negative or mad at myself because that won't help anything and is not loving myself.
+Instead of saying things like "this is so hard! i can't do this" when I am exercising I am being my biggest support system and telling myself "I can do this! I am so proud of myself for exercising today! I am one step closer to being healthier!" I did this today during my workout and noticed a big difference!!

To tell you a secret I started a top secret Instagram account for ME to document anything I want to and not have to worry about "cute and perfect" feed. Documenting everything that is making me healthier mind-body-spirit. Eventually maybe I'll be brave enough to share it with you all.
xox
bailey

7 DAY SIMPLE SELF CARE CHALLENGE

Self care, self love, and self acceptance have quickly become topics that I am very passionate about. I have recognized the importance of them and started to apply them into my life. It hasn't just changed my life, it has TRANSFORMED it. Really. In such an important way that I think that SO MANY people (seriously like everyone and anyone) could benefit from this! So now all I want to do is share it with the world!

So, I decided to host a 7 Day Simple Self Care Challenge over on my Instagram . I want it to be a safe place where you can start this journey and find it in yourself to love who you are and all that you are! I wanted to keep it SIMPLE and to the point and start adding in basic concepts every day!  There's no reporting back to me, no huge assignments- simply suggestions and questions and quotes that will help influence you to start intentionally living and loving yourself. 

We are currently on Day 2 and will begin Day 3 tomorrow. Each day I will update the challenges right here in this post so if you prefer to follow along here and go at your own pace and come back as often as you would like!

 1) Choose a positive affirmation/intention that you will focus on and repeat throughout the day. Start with an "I AM" statement that is meaningful and powerful to YOU. Mine for today is: I am grounded. I am balanced

2)Answer This: What do you want to gain from practicing self care for the next 7 days?? I personally want to take better care of myself mind, body, and spirit. I want to have more peace and guidance in my life. 

3) Take at least 10 minutes for yourself today and do something with the INTENTION of loving and taking care of yourself. Go for a walk, take a shower, focus on your skin care routine, meditate, listen to an inspirational podcast- ANYTHING. But do it for YOURSELF. 

1) Today, choose YOURSELF. Choose a positive affirmation/intention that begins with the words "I CHOOSE" Mine for today is- I choose peace and safety within. With my anxiety it can be hard for me to love myself and my body. Especially when I feel like they aren't functioning as I wish they would. This affirmation helps me to CHOOSE peace and safety within myself even when it's not easy.

2)Answer This: What is something about your body and your personality that you LOVE? I love my eyes and my compassion for others.  If that was uncomfortable for you- that's okay. It's normal to feel resistance with something like this. Especially if you are not used to loving yourself or complimenting yourself. A lot of our lives we are taught to NOT do that because we will come off selfish or stuck up. *insert eye roll here* that doesn't apply to all situations. Those resisting emotions just prove that we rent as kind and loving to ourselves as we should be. 

3) Every time you are in front of a mirror today I want you to look at yourself and say OUT LOUD- I love and accept myself exactly how I am. That may seem weird. And trust me, when I first read about this exercise in a book I was like- WHAT? THAT IS SO STUPID. But I put away the resistance and started doing it and after a few weeks of consistently doing this at least 1 time a day I actually started to believe it. Those 9 words changed my life. 

 1) Today we are going to focus on self acceptance. I want you to choose 1 or 2 Lines from the next picture to think about throughout the day.

2) Today I want you to be more gentle with yourself. Be mindful of your thoughts towards yourself. If any negative thoughts happen stop them and replace the with words of kindness and reassurance. 

Picture yourself back when you were 5 years old. What would you want to say to your 5 year old self if you were having a hard time? A bad day? A negative thought? I bet they would be kind words of encouragement. Say those things to yourself NOW. BE KIND.

3) Make the decision today to learn to love you. Flaws and all. Know that it won't happen instantly. But that's okay! Take the first step and decide to START.

1) All I want you to do for today is 10-15 minutes of stretching/yoga/exercise. Listen to music, do it while you're watching TV, Do it in silence- Listen to you body and do what it needs for today.

1) Today I want you to choose an "I AM" statement that helps to connect you to The Divine. Mine is: I am an extension of The Divine. This is one of my favorite mantras to help reconnect with my spiritual self.  "You are not a human having a spiritual moment. You are an expansive, powerful, spiritual being having a human experience. "

2) Say a prayer of gratitude today. Don't ask for anything. Just share all the things you are grateful for in your life today. 

3) Find time to meditate at least 5 minutes today. I love the Headspace App and the Simple Habit App. Or simply sit there in silence and let your mind go where it wants to.

 1) Choose a positive affirmation to focus on today that has to do with change and or transformation within yourself. Mine Is: I am open to change,  I welcome it.

2) Focus on an area where you are noticing change in your life. Good OR bad. Whether it is within yourself or something going on in your life. Be aware of it and try to let go of any resistance you may notice.

3)Make specific goals and invite the positive change into your life or at least the PROCESS of changing. Maybe do some yoga while focusing on what you WANT to happen. Don't focus on what you DONT want to happen. Don't focus on the negative. POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND OUTCOMES ONLY.

1) Make a list of your favorite positive affirmations/mantras that resonate with you! I keep  mine in my "notes" in my phone. Here are mine: I am grounded, I am safe/ I choose peace and safety within/ I am worthy and powerful/ I am easy to love/ I know what to say/ I trust myself/ I am an extension of the Divine. 

2) What words or beliefs do you want to live by? Really think about his. Write this down by your positive affirmations. AND BEGIN. 

3) Take a moment to reflect on this last week. What parts of the challenge did you love? Did loving yourself and taking tim for YOU affect you? What do you want to add into your life from this challenge? How can you keep working on loving yourself?

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! So grateful for everyone that participated! I really hope it was an easy way/introfuction to self care! I hope you gained something from this! I will keep this post here forever! 

HAPPY HEALING YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

Bailey

My Letter of Gratitude to Anxiety.

Photo cred: Honeyseed Photography

For the past 2 days I have been working on my Solar Plexus Chakra. This chakra deals with your skin, pancreas, digestive tract, liver, and nervous system; personal power, self esteem etc. I was challenged to write a letter of gratitude to my biggest trial and to find PURPOSE in my trial. This is not going to be easy, and I've been putting it off for the past 2 days, but I know that's exactly why I needed to do it.

You probably already know who the culprit of my biggest trial is right now- ANXIETY. So here goes my gratitude letter to anxiety:

Dear Anxiety,
You have taught me a number of things in this past year that I am so grateful to have learned. You have pushed me beyond the limits I thought I could handle. You have made me break so I could become stronger. You have given me power in ways I never knew I had and ways I never knew you could.  You have brought me to my lowest of lows so I could CHANGE.

You have taught me. Taught me that I can do harder things than I think I can. That I can never fully be broken because I always find away to mend myself. That I can come out on top of the hardest moments of my life. You have taught me that I do not have control of everything, and that I need to be okay with that. That I need HELP to get through this life and that I can't do everything on my own.  You have taught me to take care of myself.

You have pushed me. You have pushed me down a life changing path. A path off self care, self love, and self worth. You have pushed me towards meditation, yoga, chakras, and self help books. You have pushed me towards being healthy mind, body, spirit. You have pushed me to turn to God. Pushed me to break so I could learn how to mend myself. Pushed me to take care of myself every single day.

You have made me strong. Stronger than I ever was before. Stronger mentally. Stronger from the  most overwhelming and difficult times so that I had to find a way to get through it. Stronger so I could learn to ask for help and so I  connect with people. Stronger so that I can recognize small victories every single day. Stronger so I know when to take a break and do things for myself.

You have given me power. Power to pick myself up off the ground when you become debilitating and my worst enemy. Power to know my limits and say no when I need to. Power to know myself and understand myself more than I ever thought possible.

So thank you. Thank you for pushing me to become the person I am now- no FORCING me. The person that knows her worth. The person that is extra grateful for life. The person that wants to help others that have to deal with you so that they can learn how to be grateful for you to. I never knew I would or could get to this point of gratitude, but now after all of this I am grateful.

xo
Bailey

Let's Heal Our Lives.

Wow. You guys. Today I started a new part of my healing journey. I believe that we have a lot of power and that we really can help to heal our own lives. I believe in western medicine and I know there are so many amazing things it has to offer, but I have always felt like there has to be MORE. There has to be more than just medications to help people function.
Last year when this all began I hated the thought that I had to wait 2 months to see if the medicine helped. That that was the biggest focus was just changing my meds. I didn't want to just sit around and wait. And I hated thinking that the medication was the key.  I wanted to actively be DOING something to help MYSELF. THERE HAD TO BE MORE. And thats when I encountered a post about self care on Pinterest and it changed the game for me. I became intrigued with that because I NEEDED to feel taken care of. I needed to feel like I could personally contribute to my healing because it was MY body and MY mind. Medication is amazing, and i've been on it for years, but sometimes i have felt like it is just a bandaid, or a crutch and I don't want to be on it forever. It's not FIXING the problem or taking it away, it's just something to HELP. I wanted something MORE. And I found it.
 So one thing led to another and I dove into the world of self care, yoga, reflexology, energy healing, meditation, chakras, mantras, positive thinking, the law of attraction, healing my body from the inside all the way to the outside.
I started to learn and study and research and try soooo many new things! It was my new focus in my life because I had faith these things would help. And i felt very much guided towards them and I was willing to try anything. It was a little hippy dippy and hokey pokey at first, because it was unfamiliar. But I just went with it and I am so so so grateful I did.
 I watched as day by day it changed my life for the better. It didn't happen all at once, but gradually I began to see a HUGE difference that all of these things made in my anxious and troubled life. It began a journey of self love and self acceptance. Of healing from past events. Of forgiving others and forgiving myself. It led me closer to God, to feel the spirit in my life easier. It taught me about how every single pain and ailment in our life is caused because of SOMETHING in our minds- an experience, a thought, a problem, an event- THEY ARE ALL LINKED TOGETHER. I saw in my personal life how my anxiety, my perfectionism, my neck pain, my headaches-- they each were linked to something that had happened or an emotion that I was having or something I was going through.  I learned how past events shaped me. And learned things about myself I never would have realized otherwise. I DOVE DEEP YOU GUYS. Talk about soul searching and soul reawakening- this stuff is real. And I know it sounds hippie hippie but there is also science behind this and some of these beliefs have been around for years and years and years. Skeptical? Read the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. It will change your life. It has changed mine and is a great way to start venturing and learning about this whole new way of life.
So, right now, I am at a point in my life where I am managing my anxiety and panic disorder FOR THE MOST PART. I still have my trials. I still have my mountains and things that are hard to mange. I still have limitations, but I am farther than where I was a year ago. And if these tools could help me when I was at my lowest of lows, i wonder what they will do for me when I am at my medium of mediums- haha not a thing but you know what I mean.
So I am diving back in and going to start focusing back on  my self care and morning/nightly routines. Today I took a few hours to do this, and I literally feel like my soul is happy and I know I am headed in the right direction for what my life needs at this time.
I am participating in an incredible 7 Day challenge to help heal my body from the inside out and I would love for you to join me. The amazing Sydney from The Daybook is hosting it in a Facebook group and you can start it whenever and go at your own pace and begin to learn more about yourself and healing.

xoxo
Bailey

What's In My Self Care Tool Kit?

Self Care has been a HUGE part of my Healing Journey. HUGE HUGE HUGE. A few months ago, before my anxiety came in and tried to take over my life, I was feeling kind of blah. This was my life almost everyday- I would wake up, go to work, come home and watch Netflix on my lunch break and decide what I was going to make for dinner, go back to work, come home and make dinner, maybe get in workout, spend time on snapchat, insta, Facebook, sometimes Pinterest, cuddle with my hubby and spend an hour to 2 watching Netflix, get ready for bed and go to bed. Does that sound familiar to anyone else? It was a routine, and life was good, but I just felt like I didn't have TIME. For anything. And I was just going through those motions. I had tons of things I WANTED to do - yoga, meditation, calligraphy, learn about makeup, clean, organize etc. But it just felt like I couldn't fit it in anywhere and that there wasn't a purpose for everything I wanted to do. Then I came across a few "Self Care" Pins on Pinterest and became so INSPIRED.

I loved the idea of MAKING time for myself!  I loved the idea of doing things I wanted to do just because I want to do them and they will make me happy! That I could take time out of my busy day to draw a hot bath, put bubbles or a bath bomb in, light some candles, plug in my himalayan salt lamp, watch grey anatomy on my laptop and just CHILL THE HECK OUT and just ENJOY myself without feeling guilty! That I could make time for ME and do some yoga and just focus on myself- mentally, physically, spiritually. Self Care opened up this whole new world and changed my perspective and how I live my life. It's not in any way just another thing to add to my "to-do" list, it is ME time to check in with my well being and get recharged/recentered.

Here is my Self Care Tool Kit. Take note that I don't always use all of these "tools" at the same time or even everyday! I use different ones at different times of the day and it also depends on my mood! But I definitely use at least 3-5 of these every single day! These are my little things that make a big difference everyday--

1. My Himalayan Salt Lamp
Himalayan Salt Lamps are said to increase energy levels, improve mood & concentration, purify the air, and decrease stress levels. I ALWAYS have this on when I am doing yoga, meditating, reading, bathing, or just trying to relax! It really helps me feel at peace and is soothing to me.

2. Aromatherapy
I love to use candles, my essential oil diffuser, and my favorite bath bombs or bath salts. My favorite candle right now is Bath and Body Works Mahogany Teakwood High Intensity candle. I always carry around an essential oil blend with me for when I'm feeling really stressed and need to recenter myself or focus on something else.

3. Self Help Books
I recently started You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and it has seriously changed my life. I would recommend this book to everyone and anyone! It makes me feel so empowered and like I can accomplish anything that I want! It has different exercises to do throughout the book that have really been great at changing my perspective, making me a more positive and forgiving person, and helping me with my anxiety. This is the first self help book I have read and I'm so excited to read more after this one!

4. Journaling
I have my personal journal where I will write about anything and everything, I'm not as good at writing in it as I used to be when I was younger but it's nice when I feel like I just need to write my thoughts down or talk about what is going on in my life.  I also recently started -what I call- my "Healing Journal". I started my healing journal when I began counseling as a way to write down things I learned from therapy. I LOVED writing in it and decided to dedicate an entire journal to my Healing journey! I write down thoughts I have after meditation or yoga, quotes from Pinterest that apply to my healing journey, positive affirmations, and quotes from the self help book I am reading that I want to remember.

5. Yoga
Over the past month I have learned that yoga isn't just about "stretches" and being able to do awesome poses and headstands. It is actually a really spiritual and peaceful time for me. It's my time to connect and to heal - mind, body, and spirit.

6. Mindfulness Meditation
I can't say enough how much I love the Headspace app! If I am anxious when I wake up I try and do a 10 minute session to clear my head or I do it at lunch! It feels so good to take a break from thinking and to try to live in the moment. To just focus on here and now instead of all the unrealistic/future/anxious thoughts that I am so good at creating. I just get to clear my head and focus on how I am right then and there in that moment.

7.Pinterest
I love Pinterest so much because it is all about me! Sounds so selfish, but whatever, it's the truth. I love that it's my own vision board of everything I love! It helps me clear my head and fill it with all things lovely and me!

8. Organizing
I am queen of getting rid of things. I don't like extra clutter and sometimes I get so sick of saying "maybe i'll wear that/use that someday" because usually I don't. Sometimes I just take 1 drawer or a shelf or a section of  a room and just reorganize and throw things away! Other times I take time to organize my Pinterest boards, music playlists, or apps on my phone.


xoxo
Bailey

The Beginning of My Healing Journey

December 2 I was thrown into this whole knew realm of anxiety. It transformed to Panic Disorder and then to Agoraphobia. It was this whole new thing for me that I have never experienced and I could have never imagined that I would go through it. I'll spare you all the details and get to the good part. The part where I finally have hope back in my life. The part where I am yelling it out to the Universe that I CAN DO THIS. 

This is transformation time for me because I've chosen to make it that. I've chosen to FIGHT this and try everything that I possibly can to manage my anxiety and take back MY life. I was brought so low, SO SO low, lower than I could have ever imagined, so that I could CHANGE and TRANSFORM. Sounds super dramatic and/or cliche, right? But it's true. And it's taken me a while to get to this point but I'm on this journey right now to help myself heal (I just love that word so much).

Here is my healing journey so far-

A week and a half a go I chose certain things that I was going to work on and and ways I was going to change. I didn't want to just let anxiety run my world and I didn't want to just sit around and wish it away. I wanted to actively be doing things to help myself! And I was willing to do and try anything. Seriously. I was so so stuck you guys. Anyways these things have brought me hope over the past few weeks and are a big part of my healing journey.

+Research- I wanted to learn more about anxiety, panic disorders, and agoraphobia. I went to Dr Google and searched everything and anything about them. I feel like it helped me to understand why my body was doing this in order to help me to change it. I read tons of great articles that gave tons of great insights and advice on how to overcome it and things to try. Anxiety Coach and Calm Clinic were great and useful websites!

+Yoga- I've been wanting to get more into yoga these past few weeks so I figured now would be the perfect time. I started reading about Yoga and how it can help anxiety! The Yoga Journal has some awesome articles about yoga and anxiety together and separate. (Here's an awesome article that really was helpful to me!) I started doing yoga every day and using that time to just focus on me and healing. It was incredible how much peace and hope I found by doing this. I started learning more about yoga, chakras, mantras, intentions, balance and became hooked. I started by pinning a bunch of yoga tutorials, pictures, and flows from Pinterest so that I could learn and do more. Here is my Yoga board that helped me to get started.

+Meditation-I read and watched a lot of videos about meditation and all the benefits of it. I have used the app Headspace  many times and after doing the free trial 2x I saw how meditation really was beneficial for me. I loved how I could just take an absolute BREAK for 10 minutes and just be at peace and recenter myself and I wanted more so I purchased it and I'm SO happy that I did! It has taught me a lot about not reacting to my thoughts and how to separate my emotions from my thoughts.

+Counseling- I have gone to counseling 3 times in the past week and a half and I'm so grateful that I started it. It feels so good to be able to get feedback from someone who has tools that they can teach me to help myself cope and manage my anxiety. I have loved having an outlet where I can be 100% uncensored and honest that they truly care and do understand. It's not only helping me with my anxiety but other aspects of my life as well. The biggest thing I have learned so far is how I need to ACCEPT my anxiety. I think for my whole life I tried to FIGHT it, and accepting it just seems crazy to me because I DONT WANT IT. I DONT WANT IT TO BE APART OF ME. But my counselor has helped me to realize that I have it, and there's nothing I can do about that fact, so I need to accept it. It is changing my life. 

+ Self Care- I found a Pin about Self Care that lead me to this Blog. I LOVE this post and this blog!!  It sparked something inside of me and I am obsessed with the thought about self care! It kind of just fit in with everything I was trying to work on for the past few weeks! And just shows how IMPORTANT self care is! Even if it just 10-30 minutes a morning or evening. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF and recenter and have peace and happiness! I'll be blogging a lot more about this later. But a big part of my self care is taking the time to journal again! I used to be an avid journal write growing up then I was not so good at it. Now I am getting to much peace from writing!

+Positivity- I watched the Documentary The Secret on Netflix. The graphics are super cheesy and I do not like how the Documentary is put together but I LOVE the message. It's all about the Law of Attraction and how you can have the life that you want by putting it out into the universe, making it known, and pretending like it's already yours. ANYWAYS, I would recommend it to everyone because of the message but maybe try and find the book because I liked that better! ANYWAYS- each morning, when I'm doing yoga, or if I catch my thoughts are super negative, and every night I have a few phrases that I say to myself to make me more positive. Anxiety has this way of wanting to scare you and trap you and tell you that you will always be that way and that you will always be stuck and that everything has a negative or scary ending. But turning my thoughts into positive ones has been SO powerful in my everyday life. Just saying a few simple positive phrases! 

"Many times when God isn't changing your circumstance it's because He's mostly concerned with changing YOU within your circumstance. Your character, your inner strength, your integrity matters to Him because they are everlasting qualities. The wisdom, the strength and the maturity that grows within you are all things you're going to need to sustain the calling God has on your life. Know that there is a purpose in your pain."

Keep Fighting everyone!!

xoxo

Bailey

Images via Pinterest